Bruno

image courtesy of edibleapple.com

I beseech you to watch Bruno. Sacha Baron Cohen is a genius. I mean, the movie is disgusting and totally over the top, but what it lacks in class it radiates in astute social commentary.

In one scene, Bruno is interviewing parents for a photo shoot for their babies. The questions he asks are appalling, but so incredibly revealing:

"Is your baby comfortable operating heavy, antiquated machinery?"

The parent's response? "Yes!"

"Is she okay with rapid acceleration?"

"Oh of course (laughing)."

"Do we have to keep her in a car seat? Because it's better if we just keep her in the car with no car seat."

"Oh no, you can just put her in the car or in a car seat...whatever. Whatever works."

When at long last he announced who got the part, he told her mother, "She will play a Nazi soldier, pushing a wheelbarrow." (I can't type the rest...it's too gruesome)

The mother was thrilled. Because the child got the part.

What the f*ck? How are people allowed to have children? No...that's not the real question. The actual question is how are they allowed to keep their children?

It pushed every envelope of social courtesy, but the point is clear: people will do almost anything for money and/or fame.

Later...

"So if someone comes up to me on the street and is very nice, he is probably gay?"

"Yes, more than likely."

It's worth a watch.

Oh, be forewarned: there is a LOT of inappropriate nudity.
It's pretty hilarious.

Monsoons

Dear Monsoon Season in Korea,

Get a life.

I have 11 days left in this country and I would like to spend some of those days lounging at the infamous Hamilton Hotel Pool. But nooooo...it's all overcast skies and rain patches.

Let's call a truce. Give me a sunny day today and I'll stop complaining.

With kind regards,
Alexis

The Invitation

image courtesy of citizenofthemonth.com

This sounds like a Seinfeld episode...I'm feeling it.

A few weeks ago, I had this notion that I'd have an open house to celebrate my time here. I'd invite all my peers and superiors from school and organize it right after school on a Friday: my last Friday. Why not? This way, they get to see how I live, where I live, and they get to see how much I appreciate being ... I don't know...their peer?

I hurried through an invite, gave it to my kids to translate into Korean and Voila Done! we had an invitation.

Clearly the vernacular of a high-schooler isn't exactly the type of language one wants to use when one delivers an invite to one's work mates, so I asked Beautiful Girl if she'd take a peek at it. After a few changes, she typed it up (in Korean, that's pretty vital), and I went to town copying and cutting the little invites out. Today I distributed them to every single teacher here. There are more than 80 of them.

When I talked to Beautiful Girl about this a few weeks back, she said it was a fine idea, but that hardly anyone would come. They would feel awkward (not as awkward as I've felt for the last 355 days, let me tell you) and that it's not customary for a superior to visit a subordinate's house. I expected that Beautiful Girl, Black Dress, the Burper, The Little Guy, My Korean Mum, and her friends would all be there, but that's it.

Think again, Johnny.

Those little slips of white paper may as well have been Wonka's Golden Tickets, the way they reacted. The "oohs" and "aahs" abounded, as did the hearty pats on the back and shaking of my hands. This doesn't bode well for the budget.

The piece de resistance? My principal called me and Mrs. Lim into his office. We haven't spoken since I gave my notice to the school about my leaving. I gulped. This could just be about the Golden Ticket...I mean invitation I left on his desk. Or it could be a lecture about leaving. Either way, I was a little freaked out.

Turns out it was a praise session. He told me how wonderful I was and I was oh-so-happy to hear it. After the abuse I took after taking time off for my back, I was eager to hear that they still thought I was an asset to the teaching team. Anyway, he's coming.

He laughed at me though (what else is new?) because he reminded me just how small my apartment is. I explained the definition of the open house, but he remained adamant: they would all be there and they would all stay the full three hours. And that's that. I joked that he might make it mandatory that everyone show up...then I realized that wasn't funny.

I ensured that Matt knew he had to be there. I told him it was karmic retribution: surely they would feel quite awkward on my turf. Call it payback for my 12 months of awkward living. I'm excited though...I'm sure it will be an interesting experiment to have all these humans looking at my little shoe box of a home.

Maybe I'll invite my man? It's Friday...Mrs. Lim is taking me out for Italian Dinner on the romantic lake. I'm starving, so this is perfect. After physio, it's off to Katie's for her second party in two weeks. Great day to be alive.

Have a good one.

The Korean Flag

In case you were wondering, here is a little explanation (from my favourite student, Jae Young) about what the Korean flag means.

Is she not the sweetest kid you've ever seen?

I was at her house last night and her family had an impromptu party to celebrate and watch the World Cup game against Argentina. I regretfully had to go to see the physiotherapist. I really did want to stay.

Anyway, as I was stepping onto the elevator, I saw Suki running from the clinic.

"Doctor said to close early today because of the game!"

She was pretty hyped up. Boooo!

I watched a bit of it (how much soccer can one person handle? Not much, says I), and heard the rest of it from open windows and projected screen crowds all over my neighbourhood. They're World Cup crazy here and though it's not my cup of (green) tea, it certainly is nice to see a united front, getting all silly about something physical. Korea lost, so all the kids are downtrodden today (they actually are!). I'm feeling pretty darn good though ;)

Over the Line

I think Facebook has gone too far. Here is my daily recommendation.

"The Bible"

Many people who like Starbucks like this. Like?

Come on.

I think it's high time to erase the old Facebook profile, non?

Who?

You need to just click this. The website is called Who Is The Cutest .com

You'll like it...I promise

(Thanks, Matt!)

A Little Ice on a Hot Day

I thought this was fate-ual (yup, made that one up a few years back...LOVE it).

I found a cheap flight to England. It stops in Iceland at 6 am and doesn't leave until dinner time. I thought, "Hmm..what is there to do in Iceland when one has all day?" Because hey, when will I ever be back to Iceland?

And then, on my daily perusal of all things blog-tastic, I stumbled upon this video. I'm totally in love with everything about it. Looks like I'll be doing some sightseeing in Iceland. Wow...again, if if my Past Self read this, she would not believe the adventures. Life's cool.

Inspired by Iceland Video from Inspired By Iceland on Vimeo.

Video found on A Cup of Jo, who thanks A Goddess in the Making, who attributes it back to Vimeo. There's lots more there (on Vimeo) if you like to giggle a bit.

Good day!

Oh, P.S. My package arrived in Canada with all my winter clothes (and your books, Laur). Good stuff travels fast! Thanks for keeping that safe, A-LEASH and Dave ;)

Common Decency

I consider my office to be a public place. After all, there are about 80 of us in this one room...pretty public, non? Here are some atrocities frequently perpetrated by my coworkers:

1. Blotting one's face with those disgusting oil blotting papers
2. Hoarking
   
3. Coughing up phlegm, spitting it out, then carefully examining it
4. Looking at oneself in a mirror for minutes on end, several times per hour
5. Clearing one's throat at ear-splittingly loud levels
6. Burping
7. Reeking of cigarette smoke (this one is educationally-specific)
8. Chewing with one's mouth open (or smacking one's chops as one eats)
9. Obviously talking about people when they are right next door
10. Laughing at the foreigner all the time
11. Insisting that injured people are not actually hurt
12. Coming to work when one is oozing with bodily fluids, coughing over everyone, sneezing, and wiping one's hands haphazardly everywhere
13. Using the toilet and not washing one's hands
14. Getting water all over the bathroom when one brushes one's teeth (I mean all over, not just 13-year-old-Carolyn-in-Florida-splashing-water-on-the-floor-as-she-washes-her-face everywhere...everywhere)
15. Hitting children (no, it's not legal. Yes, they still do it)
    
16. Yelling at children until one's eyes literally bug out of one's head
17. And the best...clipping one's toenails...in public

This isn't a slag against Korea. Leanne says she has quite a few doozies at her office who do many of these things as well. It's just that they are certainly punctuated when one is in a foreign country, away from the niceties of home.

Sh*t...they probably think I'm a barbarian.
Perhaps we're equal...

Perhaps if I don't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all :(

After all...

image courtesy of wordboner.com

Sex and the City II

I've been looking forward to this movie for months, as many of us estrogen-riddled humans have, and boy oh boy was it a downer. I have to agree that the dress porn was pretty spectacular, but there was no story line, and I just hated that most of the movie happened in Abu Dhabi. Seriously?! The Middle East? That's just about as far away as one can get from New York. And where, oh where, is the sizzle between Big and Carrie? I'm bored.

On top of that, sitting two seats from a girl who vomited in the theatre just about put me over the edge. A bad movie AND vomit? Get me outta here.

Anyway, as usual, Katie put on a great party for us gals. Here she is with her dog. Up until that night, I couldn't touch this scabies infected thing. But for some reason (maybe it was the champagne), I really wanted to teach it some tricks. Anyway, here are some pictures from that night...

The spread (at about 3 am)...

This seemed a very serious conversation. I assure you it wasn't. Perhaps we were trying to decide if my shiny blue tights were atrocious or amazing. I'm voting on the former.

Heather's Tom taught her that to look uber cool on the dance floor, make a face as if you've just smelled urine.

I'm getting a haircut tomorrow. Yikes!

And yes, the serious look was in that night. Blame that on the champagne too.

No...I'm changing my vote. No longer atrocious...awesome tights.

Of course, when the movie was over, the vomit forgotten, there was a little cuddling. We all shared Katie's clothes, vowed to never give them back (especially the 5th Grade Graduation t-shirt Michelle was donning), and, yes, we sang Defying Gravity for maybe a bit too long. So what.

I'm pretty sure you'd miss them too, if you were leaving. And here we have it...the joy and the sadness that comes with every new change. In that spirit...

Have a great day :)

Bachelor Pad

Though I used to love the amount of space in my home in Canada, I have grown not only accustomed, but also fond of my current apartment. Everything is handy, cheap, and good for the environment. It's a win-win.

Found this image and thought it was a perfectly done bachelor apartment. When you only have ONE room, how else can you decorate? Love it! Also, I have a feeling that my place in England is going to be pretty small, so I'm going to have to love it for at least a year more ;)

image courtesy of Apartment Therapy