I very briefly had a person in my life a long while back who at one time said something to the effect of, "Nothing can replace time spent." Blah blah. I didn't like her and so I thought that she was being difficult. Who has TIME, after all? It annoys me that she was right. But at the time, I was very young and the time I spent with her annoyed me even more than admitting now that she had a point.
Here's how I saw it...
I thought that when I looked back on my childhood, it would be the BIG EVENTS that my parents or other adults took me to that I remembered most. It would be the Disney trip, the cruise, the amazing hotels and posh dinners out. I remember a few things ABOUT those events (someone ELSE was called Alexis at Disney! I met a penpal on the open seas that I kept in touch with for EIGHT years; my stepfather STOLE salt and pepper shakers from the Fairmont in Banff [seriously, he was an upstanding human being, he was just being silly]; and I learned that saying "I'm full" is sooooo rude--one should say, "I'm satisfied.") In short, all those moments at those big places, on those expensive trips were really just mundane moments that we could have had at home.
You know what I do remember clearly? That my mother dropped me off at and picked me up from school nearly everyday in high school (I advise anyone with a teenager that they need more supervision than a toddler. Trust). Sure she was smoking with one hand, talking on the mobile phone with the other, and gear-shifting somehow at the same time as driving, but we were together. I remember times spent chatting about our days over dinner in front of the TV (gasp! There is nothing wrong with TV! We all need to unwind and I can, shock horror, usually watch mind-numbing Friends reruns AND have a conversation about my day simultaneously.)
I remember seeing my grandparents every weekend and just SITTING AROUND without a phone, without much more than idle conversation happening, save Judge Judy playing really loudly in the background. My Dad takes a nap nearly every time he's there!
I remember making and eating meals...so many meals. I remember really having to TALK to my family and enjoying doing so. Sometimes I actually can recall exact moments when things shifted, I saw something differently for the first time, I rethought a previously engrained idea. And all of this happened in the everyday.
Last night Steven and I went out for drinks and dinner. We don't do it that often, as I love to cook and so we have dinner together most nights here at the house. It's nice to read an article like this one below and get confirmation that there is value and uniqueness in the everyday moments.
Couples move in together not just because it’s economically prudent. They understand, consciously or instinctively, that sustained proximity is the best route to the soul of someone; that unscripted gestures at unexpected junctures yield sweeter rewards than scripted ones on date night; that the “I love you” that counts most isn’t whispered with great ceremony on a hilltop in Tuscany. No, it slips out casually, spontaneously, in the produce section or over the dishes, amid the drudgery and detritus of their routines. That’s also when the truest confessions are made, when hurt is at its rawest and tenderness at its purest.
Quote from the NY Times, via Cup of Jo.
In the end, it's true, nothing can replace time spent.
