On the eve of heading to the City of Love, I went ahead and booked the flights to and from Turkey (hence the title...don't hate the pun). I leave on October 15 and return on October 29. If you want to come with, please do let me know and I'll be sure to reserve a double room at the hotels. I'm flying out of Bodrum instead of getting back up to Istanbul. Though it cost more, I just couldn't imagine ending the peaceful last few days with an impromptu trip back up the coast just to board another flight home. Yuck. While I was at it, I booked all the hotels and hostels. I'll book bus tickets from Istanbul to Cappadocia as well as Cappadocia to Olympus once I'm there, but we're all set. I'm still trying to decide if paying 50% of the £170 boat cruise price NOW is a rip off that is certain to bite me in the keister later. It IS the off-season though, so maybe it's true? A horrible rendition of Don't Look Back in Anger has been playing (sung?) over and over again outside my window. Reminds me of myself and my one-day obsession with Redemption Song. I think I'll give that a listen to drown out the sound of this guy's voice. Yikes.
We forward in this generation
Triumphantly.
I talked to Jamie a long while this morning about a few things that were on my mind. Things about comparisons, moving on, and replacements. Our conclusion went something like this: no one can possibly replace anyone else in your life -- just as another woman can't replace your mother, neither can a new partner take the place of a previous one -- the reverence that we have for a past partner fades over time. It's no longer imperative to place that same level of importance on that person: that role they played in our lives gets played by someone new; someone better; someone more befitting of the role.
And so it goes on...the same old conversation. I am sure you're sick of reading about it...at times I get sick of thinking about it. But then again, this is all a process for me: it's a slow and meaningful process from a place of bitterness, anger, and the thought that life would never again be as figured out as it once was, to a place of serenity (among the amazing levels of stress at times, which, I'm pleased to announce, have abated now that I've spent nearly three days in bed, broken up only by a quick trip into London for a Pimms and Lemonade afternoon on a patio), acceptance, adventure (ahhh...so this is the real adventure?!), and pure, unadulterated enjoyment. So when I have some a-ha moment and need to publish it in a flash of self-preservation and -realization, here you will see it.
I'm looking forward to spending some time sitting and reading some place like that (above) and drinking it all in. I have the Blue Beast to document my travels and an abbreviated itinerary that allows for the utmost in deviation. I'm looking forward to this trip more than the others: it's my last one before I go home to enjoy a quick summer before embarking on my last year abroad; last year out in the wide open world; last year before the inevitable "settling down". Gulp. As Laura likes to remind me, there are trade-offs with every choice. I've made quite a few and I'm pleased to announce that I'm ready to trade back as of next year. Who knew that one year abroad would turn into three? I might have had some inclination...
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