Thursday, March 8, 2012

SELF: Day Fourteen




Don't you hate it when a day is so crummy that even seeing miraculous things doesn't help to lift the shroud of hostility, anger, and resentment that this is your real life?

This from the same gal who just yesterday was celebrating life here in England: the proximity to the Mainland; the freedom and autonomy in the classroom; the pub-after-a-long-day tradition (though I don't often speak of this, since I don't regularly partake, tonight it was a certainly necessary past time).

Yup, we all have days like this and though it pains me to say that I'm not eternally optimistic, I'm just not. As a matter of fact, the kids made me cry today and even seeing a man standing forlornly at a grave, laden with a tiny pot of daffodils for his loved one (I assume his wife...taken from him far too early) didn't lessen the bitterness that had set in by 3:28 this afternoon. I even ogled him for far too long, cried a little (more) about his physically apparent loss, but still, the resentment lingered.

The Mother Hen, who I haven't talked to in a while...I need to get on that...will ask three questions:

"Can you let this feeling go?"
"Will you let this feeling go?"
"When?"

And then you're expected to just let it go. Alright. I'm going to try for some serenity now and just let this feeling go. Now. Because it's been lingering for six hours...it's time for it to leave me.


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