One of my favourite parts about England is the tea. I have loved a good cuppa for as long as I can remember, much to the chagrin of most of my family (whatsa this? Tea?!), but the English sure do know how to make it extra special.
Such was the case when us gals went into an unassuming tea house in Tintagel for what turned out to be amazing scones with clotted (can't get over just how disgusting that word still sounds, after all these years) cream. The best part about it though wasn't the tea at all, in fact it wasn't the scones or anything edible in the place. It was the waitress.
She was epic. Upon our walking in, she announced, in the highest pitched voice EVER, "AAAAAAANY TAAAAAABLE?!" in this pseudo question-statement that made us nearly burst into peals of laughter. Seriously? We thought it may have only been the greeting: surely she couldn't talk like that all the time? Wrong-o.
She approached and announced-asked, "Reeeeeady to ooooooorder!?" in a strange way that made us feel ridiculous for not, in fact, being ready to order. Again, the incredibly high-pitched, loud voice was just too much to handle, and all three of us, mouths slightly agape, merely shook our heads, smiling a little too much, while Kat managed a, "uh, just a second please." It took everything I had not to burst out laughing, yet again.
She returned literally one minute later...we're talking sixty seconds, asking/stating, "Ready to order?!" Well we couldn't wait any longer. "We'll have the scones and tea, please."
In The Voice, "What tyyyyype of tea would you like? Any tea, all the same priiiiiiice."
The girls ordered their teas. It was my turn. I was clinging to the last vestige of common courtesy, nearly erupting in this woman's face with the hilarity of the sound of her voice. I think the best part is that she asked us ALL what we'd have, we all ordered the same thing, and she said to each one of us separately and pointedly, "What tyyyyype of tea would you like? Any tea, all the same priiiiiiice." I mean, after the second time, we were VERY sure it was all the same price, for ANY tea.
Hilarious.
I ordered, she walked away. Laughter ensued. The type of laughter that has you thinking you're going to lose your cool if anyone looks at you. It was pretty nice to laugh heartily.
The tea arrived. It took all I had to keep myself contained. "Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact," was all I kept reminding myself.
This is what the delivery of the order sounded like:
"Eaaaaaarl Gray, thanks. Laaaaady Gray, thanks. Standard teeeeeea, thanks. Fresh miiiiiiilk, thanks. Leeeeeemon, thanks. Scones, jam, creeeeeeam. Thanks. Scones, jam, creeeeeeam, thanks. Scones, jam, creeeeeeam. Thanks."
By the end, the "thanks" sounded more like, "ks" only. And it was funny. And we certainly had a hoot reinacting it over and over again in the eight-hour car ride that followed the next day, but what wonderful customer service. She was just lovely and it was so nice to be waited on so delightfully. So, in short, after all the giggling, she was a lovely gal and it was a pleasure to snack there.
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