The Power of Now

I've never really been good at living "in the now" as you newagers put it. I'm more of a look-forward-but-glimpse-behind type of person. For example, when I'm really stressed out and need a break, I envision myself in My Future Library. You can go there if you like, anytime (no one is home now anyway). I'm totally serious. This might sound crazy, but I'm sharing, and yes, I really do this.

My Future Library has dark walls, but you can't really see them for the built-in bookshelves. There are two matching green or red chairs (it changes each time I "go" there) and plenty of plants. Not like "creepy old lady with ten cats" lots of plants, just a few plants that really "liven up" the place. Anyway, there is a beautiful old oriental rug on the hardwood floor, and my old teachers' desk (how funny that I'm now actually a teacher, years after my mom restored that old beauty) takes up most of the room. Art hangs on the walls, moonlight and sunlight come through large windows. I go there and light a fire, because obviously there is a fireplace, and relax. I can see it, smell it, feel it. It is "my happy place" and the more I envision it, the more relaxed I become. It symbolizes a bunch of things: security, home, roots, comfort; and more than this, I am envisioning my own future hapiness.

I say do whatever it takes to make yourself the happiest you can be. My mom used to say the simpliest things that made the most sense: "What will make you happy?" After I'd answer, she'd reply, "Then do that." Since I don't entirely understand how to live in the moment, the now, I will do what I can to be happy. And sometimes this means delving into the brutal past...sometimes I think you HAVE to do that to figure out what you did wrong and how not to repeat it. Come ON...don't you ever look back and say, "Phew, glad I came out of that alive. Here's what NOT to do again"? I do. And as for the future, I love to look ahead, think of tomorrow, next month, winter in Korea, vacationing at The Big Thai, teaching next year, maybe moving to Toronto when I get home. All of these things are just little dots on the horizon, but sure enough, if I work hard enough, I can reach them all. Isn't that the purpose of life? To strive?

What works for some does not work for others (wow, Planet Obvious called. They want their President back). However, until someone shows me how to live in the now properly, I will live HERE, NOW as best I can, I will hope for the future, and I will think back about how the past affects both of these. It's possible that I'm overthinking. But I love it.

So show me how. Give me a strategy: I'm happy to try it. Until then, I'm here baby, staring ahead, glancing behind.

(thanks for your comment)