Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A Blank Sheet of Paper



Matt told me a story about his middle schoolers today. I just had to share it. Note the kid pictured above is not one of the kids in question, but is rather indicative of what the Korean kids look like when they pose (awkwardly) for pictures. Cute, non? Sort of.

We were sitting outside at lunch today, watching the kids swarm around the Snack Hut (a not-at-all glorified portable) and he pointed out two children. The first is a hyper excited, speaking in a high-pitched voice little number, while the other is a pudgy, large-headed shy fella. Here's what went down...


Pudge was doodling on a piece of paper. Matt walked by, glanced down, and noticed that Pudge had written, "SEX" on the page. Shocked and appalled (as we should be...eye roll), Matt demanded the page be handed over to him. The student shoved the paper in...his pants. Literally.

High Pitch tries to rectifies the situation by siding with Matt: he screams for the child to return the paper to "Teacha".

It sounds a little bit like this: "Giveteachapapa! Giveteachapapa!" (Translation: Give the teacher the paper...sigh) at the top of his voice.

Matt can hardly keep the laughter at bay. He continues to stand before Pudge, demanding the paper back, as High Pitch continues his loud diatribe. The way Matt tells the story, I'm in hysterics in the quad, kids surrounding us, trying to understand why I'm killing myself laughing.

At long last, Pudge relinquishes a paper. Not the paper: a blank sheet. He looks satisfied with himself. High Pitch stops squawking. Matt is really struggling now to hold in his own bout of hysterics. Finally High Pitch recognizes that all is not well and good and starts up again.

Matt attempts his own brand of Konglish: "Give to me or homeroom teacher? ME or HOMEroom teacher?" (Translation: "Would you rather give this sheet that says SEX on it to me or to the evil man who will probably hit you?"). Awesome.

Kid finally gives up the paper, having taken the time to scribble out the word. The page is now a plethora of wasted ink. And one hell of a hilarious story. At least to me.

Oh Korea...you rock.

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