Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Proverbial Sh*t Hits the Proverbial Fan




Tuesday was quite the day. I told Black Dress at around 11 that I had to talk to her at some point in the day, if possible, about my contract. Left it sort of up in the air about what exactly I had to say. After my class was over, she wanted to talk about it straight away (who can blame her? She is responsible for replacing me if necessary), but I had to eat lunch. I was being a bit of a brat. I was feeling more than frustrated after the day before. I constantly feel attacked by her: and I was going to explain exactly why I feel attacked, but my conscience urged me against it. I realized just how judgmental I was being...and no one needs that kind of negative energy. Suffice it to say that I'm really sick of the way she conducts herself. So yeah, I was being a brat. Enough said.

After lunch, we finally did talk about it. I asked what the school would offer me as far as salary goes if I did decide to stay. She said (I'm serious), "Oh, well what is your salary now?" She's my boss for all intents and purposes. So she checked "the book" and decided that the school would give me what translates to $100 a month pay increase. This is what they have to give me by law. I told her this.

"Oh, well we'd give you two extra weeks of vacation". Again, the school is obligated to give me this too. I was getting frustrated again at this point. The tipping point?

"The school will also pay for your round trip airfare back home."

I looked at her and said, "You realize the school has to pay for that, right?"

"Yes."

Oh, so you're not offering me anything. You are giving me what is already owed to me. See how those are different? I was about to say it when she interrupted my thoughts...

"So you decided to stay in Korea?!" Oh, yeah, because I can see how you would get THAT message from my apparent and obvious mounting anger. This is why life in Korea is so difficult: why can't they read the unspoken language?

"I decided not to renew my contract," I said, finally, after taking a few deep breaths.

"Oh." She did not seem surprised nor disappointed. "Why?" was all she had to say. The urge to say, "You" was strong, believe you me.

I told her then that I had to go home. This is apparently what is the polite thing to say, as opposed to saying that you want to leave. They read into that and think you don't like Korea, don't like them, and even, gasp! that you don't like your co-teacher. I'm smirking at the thought.

I then advised her that I had found someone I believed to be a suitable replacement for me. I met her at the gym, knew her somewhat from our public school orientation, and since she also teaches at a vocational high school, thought the fit would be good. Since she hadn't yet told her school she was planning on leaving, I had to tell Black Dress this, but didn't get the chance before running off to a class. Note that at this point she knew about my leaving for about 20 minutes. I told her we'd talk about it more when I got back from class.

She then called the school at which the girl still works (the school that isn't aware at this point that she's leaving) and does an impromptu reference check on her. When I returned from class, she was confused and asked me why the co-teacher told her that this teacher was staying another year.

I lost it. I told her this was unprofessional and irresponsible, not to mention unkind.

This story basically lasts all day and the remaining details are not worth telling. Suffice it to say that by the end of the day, she had apologized to me about a thousand times, asked about this other teacher and how she was doing just as many times, and got about twice that many dirty looks from Yours Truly. She even went so far as to call the school again and ask that this incident be ignored. Riiiight, we'll just sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen. That's functional.

When I took a step back, I realized that she simply panicked and called the school to get a reference only to replace me. I stuck strictly to the facts, not to her motives, and endeavoured to simply accept this, not agree or disagree with it. I decided to choose peace over anger. Is it really a choice? And then the bomb was dropped.


Her final comment of the day haunts me still and punctuated the tale. At the end of the day, she told me her rationale for making the phone call. Here is pretty much what she said:

"Alexis, I don't know you very well. I have only known you a short time. So I can't trust that who you recommend for a job will be okay. So I had to call a Korean person to make sure she was the right person for the job. This is why I called that teacher."


Oh. Wow. Way to say something that definitely did not need to be said.

I refuse to believe she is in any way indicative of the country, of the culture, or of the traditions of the education system here. She is merely a glitch in my overall positive experience here.

Serenity now!


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