SELF: Day Seventeen

Well folks, I am almost half way to my goal of living clean in both mind and body for forty days, while staying positive and getting even happier all the while. Yesterday I had a minor setback: Black Dress gave me some upsetting news regarding the minute chance I'll actually end up with any supplementary (read: extra money) classes this semester. I was really upset last night and even pizza didn't help (nor did having about 40 pizza boxes showering me as we ate...infuriation grew). I was getting to the point where I was just about ready to pack it in (the positive attitude I've been sporting lately) and get back to the cynic I knew and loved.

However, I remembered the vow I made to myself when I entered Phase Two: Get Happy, and I picked my mopey self up off the floor. Literally, I was on the floor. I went over to Matt's and found his friends Kara and Michelle had dropped by to visit. People never visit us, since we live in East Jesus Nowhere and everyone else lives in The Hub (and near each other). It was so nice to have girls around again...girls who just drop by. I was feeling better already.

I decided to honour my commitment to run instead of joining the masses at Trivia. Hard as it was to drag myself out at 8:45 last night when all I really wanted to do was drink red wine and then sleep for 10 hours, out I went. I only ran 5 kilometres, but the neatest thing happened while I was hitting the pavement. I have always said that I wanted to be fit enough to enjoy running as much as I enjoy walking. Hmm...a little explanation is needed because those of you who know me well know that I hate walking.

When I was training last year in London, I would go out for runs after school in the dead of winter. The wind would be whipping, the cold setting into my bones, and the show sometimes beating down and across and sideways at my face. It was not the nicest way to spend an evening. Once the run was over and I was on my way home, I would walk up this one street near the Lucas' house. It was gorgeous. Note, if I wasn't running already, I would never have ventured out for a walk. Pu-lease! But this reprieve was so welcomed: the massive trees so delicately covered with snow; the streetlights twinkling against the night sky; the sound of my feet crunching the packed snow beneath my feet...it was all just magical. I wished I could appreciate all of this while I was running: not just while I was walking.

Alright, so back to last night. Last night, while running, I took a good look at what was around me: the sparkling river; the rustling grasses; the dark clouds dancing over the bright moon (waning now). It was beautiful and I was seeing it, really seeing it, all. I realized I had come to the point where I could enjoy running as much as I enjoyed walking. Whoa. I don't think I'm any more fit than I was last year during training. But I am doing something different this time around: I'm allowing myself the freedom to walk when I need to, even if that's for the entire "run". The result? I run more frequently, I run farther without planning to, I run with more enthusiasm, I have stayed motivated, and I rest far less than I used to. It's remarkable: by giving myself permission to rest, to slow down, I'm actually doing more. The Mother Hen will like this a great deal. :)

Today started like every other day this week: we hit the gym nice and early. Since our bodies were tired of weight training and every muscle group needed a rest, I did a treadmill workout, adding 3.5 km to what I'll run tonight. Nice. That makes up for one day when I didn't run at all in my first week. Feeling quite awake and mighty satisfied from my gigantic breakfast, I got to school feeling good. I was promptly reminded of the upset of yesterday though. I tried hard to think positively...to no avail. :(

THEN Mrs. Lim, the fountain of all things good in Korea, who also brought me sweet potatoes yesterday (I swear I'm going to turn into a sweet potato) gave me some great news. She said there was a woman in the financial services office here at school who wanted to know if I was available for tutoring after school. Am I?! I told her how disappointed I was after yesterday and how promising the notion of extra classes was to me after My Man and I discussed them. She was, of course, sympathetic and wonderful (qualities lacking in others around here, honestly) and said she'd talk to the woman tomorrow to get more information. NICE.


THEN I taught my nearly lowest level class for the first time (1-2). They were amazing. Last year, Black Dress had these lower level classes and I'm glad it's been switched. I think these children need a stern but loving hand: one that will expect just as much from them as from the gifted students. The teacher they have now is JUST the guy to give it to them.

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Needless to say, I'm feeling MUCH better than I was this morning. It's 11:15 now and I have arranged to leave early today to take care of some banking. That might mean I get a nap this afternoon :) fit in a run, and share some wine with my friends.

Ah, simple pleasures.

Sounds like happy to me.